What's the frequency, Kenneth? I was reading in Discover magazine that certain vitamins and minerals can help neurological disorders ranging from mild depression to severe psychoses, violent tendencies, and schizophrenia. My baby slaps me around a lot, so I started giving her flax seed oil. But she slaps me around lovingly. Who knows where order ends and disorder begins when it comes to the brain anyway? Maybe those people that think, for instance, that the vibrations of accumulated radio and microwave transmissions are a symphony of great theological significance, received by their dental fillings and played out in their brains...maybe they're right. Who knows? Anyway, what concoction can I give Juniper to make her not impishly, joyfully, estatically do all the things to which I tell her "NO!"? Probably Benadryl. Or morphine. Or television. Or a severe, twisted, and sadistic form of Mormonism (actually, any religion would do I guess). Does anyone out there have an answer to the eternal question "How do I make my kid behave"? It's not lack of parental attention that makes her so naughty, or lack of firmness on my part regarding the actions of naughtyness. So, I'm fresh out of idears. |