Dramatic interlude
11:04 a.m. on 2005-08-24
I was dead once. Janitor-x has got me thinking about this a lot lately. Thanks, Janitor-x! It was back in the good old days, a heroin overdose. An old, craggy, veteran junkie gave me CPR and I woke up to his teenage daughter screaming "You were dead! You were dead!" He says I was going cyanotic, not breathing, no pulse. I owe my life to that tempermental, runny-nosed dreg of society. I didn't see any dark tunnel with a light at the end. I had no visions. It was just, darkness. Nothing. When I woke up, the world was far away and shadowy, I couldn't see or hear very well. It was like when Frodo got stabbed by the Nazgul. Whenever I get too depressed, or too optimistic, I think of that void, that nothingness. Maybe there is something beyond that, I don't know. But I sure as hell am going to try to live the fuck out of my life while there is still time. Whether or not there is a god or an afterlife doesn't make the fact that there is life, existence, any more or less miraculous, either way. This is a wierd place, a weird thing to be happening. And, no matter how long I live, I know I will never know everything, never get to the bottom of the mystery of why the fuck we are all here, and all that bullshit. And the physicists, if they find all those vecor bosons, finish the eternal equation, I don't think that will answer everything, either. Thank goodness.
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