Lock up your appliances, here i come Well it looks like I might not have a job to go back to. The paralegal is leaving so the work-from-home thing wouldn't really work, because my boss needs someone he trusts there to look after him. Daycare costs too much for a baby Juniper's age, even if I could find her a spot. Besides, I don't want to hand my baby over to some stranger. What's the point in having kids if you can't be with them, raise them with your own twisted values, teach them to parrot back strange phrases when they first start to talk, etc.? Plus, breastfeeding rocks. I'd rather live in a cave with my baby than live here without her. However, my husband feels the need to provide his family with more accomodating accomodations, so to speak. So we'll live on non-organic, bulk beans and rice, no more living it up with the boxed Annie's mac and cheese, no way. And I guess I'll have to give my boss' computer back to him, and shut off the internet. No more diary, unless I want to keep a scrapbooky-type paper one, and worry about people I know picking it up and reading it. Or I could wait in line with the fools at the library, to use one of the public computers... but that's stupid talk. I haven't lost my job for sure yet, he's "thinking about it". This guy has done so much for me, so I understand and accept that he has to do what he has to do for the good of his practice. It will be shitty to say goodbye to him, and worse to find another job when the time is right, especially with my damn felony drug conviction. But I have a great letter of recommendation from my equally great ex-bosses in Yakima, and my current boss will also give me one. And if I can get another "don't ask, don't tell" interview, and not have a boss that wants me to be a notary..... My ex-bosses knew because I was still on community custody when I worked there, and I told my current boss because he wanted me to be a notary. And they all still seemed to like me (after initially wanting to fire me after they found out), so fuck anybody who thinks different. Y'all don't know me, so what-everrrr. I do what I want. I have never repented that stupid drug conviction more than I do now that I have my daughter. Because it is going to affect her, in this stupid computerized, nosy society where your past follows you way after you've left it behind, like a creepy ex-boyfriend. I can't become a teacher, like my parents and grandmother before me, carrying on the family trade. At least for a few more years, when I can maybe get the conviction vacated. I guess I'll have to make myself look super good for the judge, though. Maybe I'll start reading to blind people or something. If they'll even let me do that. A lot of volunteer organizations that I've talked to won't accept ex-cons. And I can't cast my vote against this stupid, evil fool who has assumed the title of President in this country. Of course not- if you let the law-breakers vote, then they'd vote to change the laws. Not that most of us would vote, anyhow. We're too busy stealing god-fearing people's TV's to sell for crack. |