perry mason drank rice milk We're trying to buy a little cabin in the sky, and have decided to humble ourselves enough to accept parental assistance, as said parents did before us, and so on. However, it is turning into a logistical nightmare. I am just trying to make sure we are on the same page, so that we don't have any calls regarding domestic disturbance in the future, but I'm starting to feel like the lawyer that I don't want to call to get involved in this fracas. I was, get this, on the speaker phone with my goddamn parents earlier today, like we're businessmen trying to sort out a deal while simultaneously receiving a blowjob from our secretaries in our locked offices or something, and I was saying things like "I hear what Mom is expressing, and the end result may be the same as what Dad has expressed, but I think the intent is actually different." I'm in hell. I don't need to have conversations like this with my parents. This is how yuppies talk to their families, and even to their dogs (which have names like like "Justice" and "Mocha"). We're about ready to slum it out where we are, resigning ourselves to lowly lives as landlord-harassed renters for a few more years while we save up the $25 k for closing costs and down payment. But I am so, so tired of renting. I want to paint my walls indigo and fix my own toilet. On another subject, I will have to give up my habit of sleeping naked while cosleeping with Juniper, and not because some sick fucks think it's sexual, but rather because it provides for some rude awakenings. For example: when Juniper wakes up in the middle of the night, finds a nipple and starts nursing, which causes the other breast to start squirting me square in the face (waking out of a dead sleep, I momentarily thought the cat was pissing on me). Or, when the first rays of dawn start lighting up the room, she attempts to pluck my nipple like a ripe berry. |