twisted physics On my birthday, I decided to have a little fun, so my hubby made me a pot brownie. I haven't smoked or eaten weed in like ten years, and I don't know what possessed me to do it this time. Some sort of spiritual crisis, I guess. I was going to take it easy, so I ate half of the brownie, but after half an hour with no effect, I ate the rest. Then we went on a walk. Just after crossing the street, the alternate reality hit me like a ton of very strange bricks, and upon reaching the park, I turned to my hubby and said "I'm dead, aren't I?" Yes, I was experiencing the mother of all alternate realities. I wasn't dead, I was just thoroughly convinced that I was, that I had died suddenly and my spirit just hadn't realized it yet. All the other people in the park were also lost spirits, while my husband and baby were there to try to lead me back to the human realm. Or maybe I was really dead? Maybe I am still? You would tell me, right? Hubby did assure me at the time that I wasn't dead, at which time I announced that I was too stoned to be in the park. Yeah. Good call, Einstein. No one on the face of the Earth has ever been as stoned as I was that night. The belief that I was dead persisted, I thought I was hanging out in the bardo, and that the other members of my karmic circle were waiting to get out of there, but they couldn't, because I wouldn't let go of my life, because of the baby. I saw all eleven dimensions, saw thought as the fifth dimension, possibility as the sixth, and will as the seventh. I lost count after that. God did not make an appearance, though. I saw everything as particles: the dimensions, light, possible realities, time; all came in little bubbles that held together and vibrated like guitar strings, the rate of vibration determining the substance, function and nature of the bubbles. I understood the concept of personal time, understood that time is meaningless, that death does not exist. I saw the ability that we have to manipulate possibility with our will, I saw that time and "reality" are held together by the force of all our wills together, and then I got really tired of being God, Emperor of Dune and really, really wanted to go to sleep. But I couldn't because I was scared that I would roll over on the baby. (I fed her bananas instead of nursing her, so she wouldn't get second-hand-trips). Hubby had to go to work at one point, and I remember the last thing he said before he left. He said "We have a saying in the bardo: there is no word for infinity." "I get it," I said. But, of course he never said that. Yeah, I was really that stoned. No more of that, please. The human mind is not flexible enough to wrap itself around that shit too often. I'm somewhat fond of my version of reality. I'm too old for this shit. Hubby took really good care of the baby and me, and the scary thing is, even though I was ranting psychotically, he thought we were having fairly normal conversations, except when I told him I could see through time. Most of the time I think that what I was actually saying and what I thought I was saying were completely different. Weird. |